View from the BaDMaN Boot Room – GW 35

This week I’ve watched a couple of Under The Cosh podcasts, ‘starring’ Jon Parkin, Chris Brown and Chris Brown.

If those names are not immediately familiar, allow me…

Parkin was a journeyman centre-forward for mainly northern based clubs, scoring over 200 goals in more than 650 appearances. 

Likewise Chris Brown, but with fewer goals and appearances. He identifies himself from the other Chris Brown involved by calling himself ‘Browny’. The other Chris Brown calls himself a comedian and writer. 

There are three series, each featuring 12 episodes totalling some 30+ hours of listening time. But if that seems like too much of daunting task, I can condense the experience for you…

Jon Parkin: ‘Ah wunt the quickest’ ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ah seeeh, ah wunt the quickest ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I laaark a drink and me grub, thoor ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha but ah wunt the quickest ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha’. 

Saved you a bit of time.

GoalkeeperTotal PtsGW 34 Pts
Alisson (LIV)1567
Defenders  
Robertson (LIV)1865
van Dijk (LIV)18112
Azpilicueta (CHE)1400
Luis (CHE)1401
Midfielders  
Salah (LIV)2248
Hazard (CHE)2172
Sterling (MC)21514
Mane (LIV)1989
Forwards  
Aguero (MC)1772
Aubameyang (ARS)1756

Nine of the eleven above are nailed on to be in the end of season Dream Team. 

The two wobblers are Chelsea defenders Azpilicueta and Luis. Each could be replaced by team-mate Alonso, who is currently bubbling under on 139pts. That after leading the way for defenders for much of the season. And leading all seasons for a bit of it.

The four in midfield could yet shuffle about a bit, depending on the goal-scoring exploits of Salah, Sterling and Hazard between now and the final day. But there’s an 18pt gap south of Mane – and Pogba is not going to make up that ground.

Likewise, forwards Aguero and Aubameyang have got enough to play for to keep them duking it out for to gun. Jimenez is next, but his progress has been steady rather than spectacular. And Kane is after him. Whose race may already be run. Unless Tottenham make it to the Champions League Final of course.

Happy chocolate baby Jesus rabbit day, or whatever it is.

Matt Nesbitt

P.S. ‘Wunt the quickest’ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That Jon Parkin.