View from the BaDMaN Boot Room - GW 35

Thursday, April 18 2019

 

This week I’ve watched a couple of Under The Cosh podcasts, ‘starring’ Jon Parkin, Chris Brown and Chris Brown.

If those names are not immediately familiar, allow me…

Parkin was a journeyman centre-forward for mainly northern based clubs, scoring over 200 goals in more than 650 appearances. 

Likewise Chris Brown, but with fewer goals and appearances. He identifies himself from the other Chris Brown involved by calling himself ‘Browny’. The other Chris Brown calls himself a comedian and writer. 

There are three series, each featuring 12 episodes totalling some 30+ hours of listening time. But if that seems like too much of daunting task, I can condense the experience for you…

Jon Parkin: ‘Ah wunt the quickest’ ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ah seeeh, ah wunt the quickest ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I laaark a drink and me grub, thoor ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha but ah wunt the quickest ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha’. 

Saved you a bit of time.

Goalkeeper

Total Pts

GW 34 Pts

Alisson (LIV)

156

7

Defenders

 

 

Robertson (LIV)

186

5

van Dijk (LIV)

181

12

Azpilicueta (CHE)

140

0

Luis (CHE)

140

1

Midfielders

 

 

Salah (LIV)

224

8

Hazard (CHE)

217

2

Sterling (MC)

215

14

Mane (LIV)

198

9

Forwards

 

 

Aguero (MC)

177

2

Aubameyang (ARS)

175

6

 

Nine of the eleven above are nailed on to be in the end of season Dream Team. 

The two wobblers are Chelsea defenders Azpilicueta and Luis. Each could be replaced by team-mate Alonso, who is currently bubbling under on 139pts. That after leading the way for defenders for much of the season. And leading all seasons for a bit of it.

The four in midfield could yet shuffle about a bit, depending on the goal-scoring exploits of Salah, Sterling and Hazard between now and the final day. But there’s an 18pt gap south of Mane – and Pogba is not going to make up that ground.

Likewise, forwards Aguero and Aubameyang have got enough to play for to keep them duking it out for to gun. Jimenez is next, but his progress has been steady rather than spectacular. And Kane is after him. Whose race may already be run. Unless Tottenham make it to the Champions League Final of course.

Happy chocolate baby Jesus rabbit day, or whatever it is.

Matt Nesbitt

P.S. 'Wunt the quickest' Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That Jon Parkin.

Ben Dinnery

Ben Dinnery

@BenDinnery

Ben is football’s leading injury specialist. The ‘go-to’ guru for big hitters like Sky Sports, ESPN and NBC Sports when they need data. Or the BBC, talkSPORT and the broadsheets when a quote is required. His unique insight has helped provide a better understanding of what is really happening in the treatment rooms.


Johnny Wilson

Johnny Wilson

@johnny_wilson5

Johnny is a respected physiotherapist and sports scientist, specialising in football injuries and rehab. Johnny has headed up the medical departments at Chesterfield, Scunthorpe and Notts County. Overseeing everything from player-specific training loads to pre-signing medicals. He has a proven record working with elite athletes in Private Practice and is regularly called upon throughout Europe to deliver presentations on the latest rehab innovations.


Matt Nesbitt

Matt Nesbitt On TipTV

@MattNesbitt16

Matt's short, unremarkable football career was ended by his own bad driving. His long, distinguished career as a football tipster was ended by his own good advice. Because bookmakers don’t like a winner. First, they closed his accounts. Then his members’ accounts. Then his tipping service. And now they employ him as a consultant. Funny old game.


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